NEWS OF THE FUTURE

Politician Seems Sort of Human, Actually

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ – Stunning onlookers, a prominent politician actually hugged a distraught commoner, displaying a rare and fleeting glimpse of basic decency and even, according to some observers, a capacity for normal human emotion.

Ugggghhhh,” commented MSNBC political pundit Chris Matthews, ejaculating. “Uggghhhhh.”

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About Charles Davis

A writer and producer with whose work has aired on television and radio and been published by outlets such as Al Jazeera, The Intercept, The Nation and The New Republic.
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4 Responses to NEWS OF THE FUTURE

  1. Tarzie says:

    This so perfectly summarizes this weeks truly bizarre adoration of random acts of official competence and decency. We're so screwed but at least you can still make me laugh out loud.

  2. Thanks. You're the first person I'm not sleeping with who claimed to like it.

  3. BDR says:

    I once saw Chris Matthews in a crowded SF airport in 2008 so there were too many witnesses. I rode in an elevator last week alone with him last week when he was in the library for a donor's event (he gave a speech on "politics and civility and civic responsibility" and I was taking him to the Library Directors office. I not only didn't kill him, I thought of my mortgage and my kid in college and kept my mouth shut. Forgive me.

  4. Todd S. says:

    Seems we had similar thoughts around the same time. I couldn't help but wonder while watching the news, why are we so happy about people acting like actual members of humanity? It really is that rare these days, isn't it?

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