— He’s a graduate of Harvard University, like President Obama and pretty much every Supreme Court justice ever, as well as Yale Law, which means he’s likely smarter than you and would feel comfortable dressing up in a silly costume every day, rather than just weekends like the rest of us. Important qualifications.
— He’s demonstrated boundless enthusiasm for rationalizing each and every possible exercise of executive power imaginable, warrantless wiretapping, waterboarding and your run-of-the-mill breach of the Geneva Convention all legally permissable in his view so long as the Attorney General says “national security” three times, clicks his heels and spits in the direction of Mecca. While those legal opinions justifying the president’s right to carry out human rights abuses with impunity might make the founding fathers spin in their graves — had they not all, you know, fucking owned people — they fit right in with the current administration’s embrace of assassinating anyone, including an American, suspected of 1) being Muslim and 2) living abroad, laws and human decency (not always the same thing) be damned.
— He’d be the first Asian-American Supreme Court Justice. I don’t have a joke for that.
— He’d sail through the Senate nomination process with unanimous Republican support. What’s that you say, “What about all those Democrats who spoke out against Yoo’s dubious legal opinions? How could they sell out their stated core beliefs for a sheer partisan desire to see the president succeed?” Well, first I’d say, do you need a drink of water? Some fresh air or something? Maybe you should lie down. But then I’d ask, just how many congressional Democrats have spoken out against this administration’s stated belief in the president’s unilateral right to kill anyone he chooses should they wander off American territory — or worse yet, be born and raised in not-America? About as many as can dance on the head of a pin.